go for the wedding, stay for the sun...

Palo Alto. March. 2013.

It is wedding season. As we await the decisions of Prop 8, it is hard to celebrate nuptials that are legally sanctioned without thinking about all those that are unable to do the same. Of course, anyone can throw a party in celebration, but the recognition of a union between two people that want to share the rest of there lives together, and all the pleasure, pain and tax deductions that come with it, should be universal regardless of sexual identity. I have been to quite a few weddings, and the diversity in ceremonies is vast, further highlighting that unions are already consummated (pun intended) in a variety of ways, be it religious, secular, or something in between. Why then is marriage stuck to this very strict and antiquated definition that it's main purpose is pro-creation? Moreover, why isn't the act of raising children, even if not biological, not considered an important necessity to continue the human race?

Let's hope for the best for all humanity and assume there will be lots more weddings in the future, giving you reason to travel and stay at hotels. And maybe some of them will be in Palo Alto. And maybe you will have to share a hotel room with two friends to afford to stay the night. And maybe you will be rushing to the wedding because your ride is late.

And maybe you will let tears run down the side of your face as you beam with happiness when the priest announces Husband and Wife. And maybe you will have an amazing time chatting up fresh in-laws and family friends of the Bride at the reception. And maybe you will reminisce about all the dance floors you dominated as a career flower girl circa 1992. And maybe watching the young girl dancing with the Bride will bring you to tears, because you miss being a little girl dreaming about being a grown up bride, even if you realize you don't think you ever did that.

And maybe the Bride and Groom will have an endless glow that surrounds them as they take photographs, entertain and start their new lives as a married couple. And maybe they will also have a sweet suite on the top floor where you might be able to have a classic hotel after party. And maybe the Bride calls down for a lot of champagne classes and plastic cups. And maybe you talk about playing beer bong. And maybe you realize you can no longer party like you used to and you instead find pleasure in unwrapping all the little things in the hotel room and going to sleep in a fluffy robe in a giant bed. And maybe you just like looking at the bath tub. And maybe you don't work out in the hotel gym, even though you brought your clothes.

And maybe you stand in awe at the hotel attendants ability to pack all you and your friends' (along with the centerpiece you took from the wedding) bags into your car perfectly. And maybe you leave the Four Seasons and instead spend the next day at the Rosewood Sandhill resort pool and bask in the sun to get over your champagne hang over. And maybe, you'll be laying out next to your best friends. And maybe you dream about the chance that someday they, too, can tie the knot, and then you can do it all over again.

the selfie...

Los Angeles. March. 2013.

I'm still throwing up inside my mouth because I actually typed that word. If you don't know to what I am referring, you either also have not been on the internet, do not have kids, or are in denial. I am currently pondering how this photo happened, and all the things behind the idea of a self-portrait taken on a mobile device and instantly uploaded for public consumption.

The facts:

I was at wedding.

I made my dress and I had not gotten a photo of it. So this seemed necessary.

I texted this photo to a guy that I (think) I am dating. He did not immediately respond.

Mitigating circumstances:

It was an open bar. They made stellar manhattans.

There was no one else in the bathroom at the time of (multiple, I'm sure) photographs.

I stood somewhere out of site while I picked the best filter and waited for successful upload as to not be antisocial or rude.

This was the only photo (I think) that I took of myself alone.

I later saw many selfies of other wedding guests on various social networks.

Everyone, and it does not matter who you are or what you look like or how old you are, wants an awesome photo of his or her self and there is no shame in that, but it is strange how prevalent the practice seems to be. My younger sister does it. My boss does it. My grandpa is probably doing it right now. The desire to photograph oneself seems to be universal, regardless of one's self-confidence, vanity, exhibitionism, or lack thereof. Why we think that we can take it ourselves is nuts, but we try and try and our efforts, for better or worse, make it on the internet for public view due to our own actions. It's like we want to be our own paparazzi. I don't really get it, but I also totally get it. I hate it and I love it and I think that it's actually a central part of being human. We are tapping into the very root of our primal being -  our need to carry on, our dream to last forever, if only in pixel form on the interwebs (because I highly doubt anyone has ever printed out his/her own selfie).

I wonder what future generations will be like with this ability capture one's own image, edit it, and proliferate it all from a small device in seconds. Will this speed up self-awareness? Will this encourage self-love? Will this practice increase or decrease vanity? Does it make us feel better about ourselves or worse? Does it depend of how we already feel? If we only take self-portraits when we feel awesome (or drunk), shouldn't that make us feel more awesome and isn't that a good thing? Is this just the evolution of centuries of ego-centric human behavior?